Thursday, March 1, 2012
Well...I was Pregnant!
So after I started spotting again...the night before beta...again, I just figured that it was all over. I was right, but this time the results weren't a flat out negative. I had a chemical pregnancy. I hate the term "Chemical Pregnancy." It makes it seem like there wasn't one...that my body was producing hormones that it wasn't supposed to. In actuality, a chemical pregnancy is just another term for a VERY early miscarriage. It is a miscarriage that happens before a heartbeat can be detected. In my case...we didn't even get close to a heartbeat. Last time we had a flat out negative...like neither embryo even tried to implant. This time at least one started to. Yes I am sad, mad and every other emotion you can think of, but at the same time, this gives me a little bit of hope. With it completely negative, we have no idea what happened...Did my body kill them off as soon as we put them in? Were they just not viable? We still don't know if they were viable or not, but we at least know that my body didn't kill them off right away. It gives us a few clues as to where to go from here. Tells us some more tests that can be run. And luckily we have a wonderful proactive doctor, who is willing to help us figure this all out. He mentioned some more tests that he wants to run, and some ideas of what to try next. I made our follow up appointment for next Friday, and I have been writing my book of questions and things to talk to him about. We have our ideas of where we want to go from here, and what we want to try, now we just have to make sure the Good Doc is on board. We would like to try for a transfer in May. I would like to use two of our snowflakes from November. Since we have 4, I would love for all of them to make it to thaw, but I am being realistic, and thinking that we will at least get two to transfer if we thaw them. So...as long as the Doc agrees, that is our plan. I also plan on asking about some other meds that we can try this time. So we will see what the Doc thinks, and hopefully that plan will be a go!
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My heart goes out to you and your DH. It's such a roller-coaster ride and we experience a ball of different emotions. Rest up during the 'break' and hoping for great news with your frost babies. Glad you have a thorough doctor on your side.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comment and support. It really is a roller-coaster ride. Sometimes the hardest part is not knowing if this will ever work.
ReplyDeleteI think that's a horrible phrase too (chemical pregnancy). And it makes it so sad to know that something started, that something tried to make a little life. I'm sorry.
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