I titled this post as potentially controversial, because if any of my devout Catholic friends stumble across it, they may disagree and argue with me.
I am getting really tired of many of my friends posting on facebook about the political controversy over birth control. I understand that many of them are just following what they believe, and what the church teaches. Before I started fertility treatments and even through my early treatments, I was against myself taking the pill. It wasn't because I was against the pill all together. I just have other medical problems that make me feel like crap when I take the pill. So the pill was never a long term option for birth control for me (not that I need it at this point.) I understand and agree with the Catholic church throwing a fit over the idea that they would have to start handing out birth control. I think that is just as wrong as asking the Catholic church to marry a gay couple. Don't start yelling at me yet. I am not anti-gay...quite to the contrary. I am very pro gay equality/rights. I would love to see gay marriage legalized in all states. I just think that it is wrong for the government to force a religious group to blatantly go against what it teaches. There are plenty of other churches and courthouses that will marry a gay couple. That being said, I think that it was wrong to try to force the Catholic church to hand out birth control...I do not however think that it is wrong to require the health insurance that the church provides for it's employees, to cover birth control pills. It is an individual decision for each person. There are other reasons though why I fully support this requirement. Birth control pills are pretty much just a bunch of hormones. Women take hormone pills throughout life for various reasons. They are not only used as a contraception. They also are used during fertility treatments to regulate a woman's cycle, or to get rid of a cyst on an ovary.
There are many other benefits of using BCPs, including being used as a treatment for endometriosis. It is one of only a few noninvasive treatments that have been shown to help endo. This being Endometriosis awareness month and being that I have endo, makes me feel like I need to speak up about this. Medical care is so expensive, and medications sometimes can break the bank. I am blessed enough that my endo has not caused severe pain all the time. I can't imagine living a life of constant pain and not being able to afford the BCP's that would potentially lessen my pain. What my many Catholic friends don't realize is that BCPs are not just a contraception, they can also be used as a medical treatment.
I know what my friends would say to me to argue, but those same friends would never understand why I have turned to IVF to have a baby. I am pretty open about my infertility, but there are some friends that I just don't talk about it with. I know how cruel they would be. I know that they wouldn't mean to be cruel. They really are only looking out for my soul. They are really kind hearted people, they are just so strict in their beliefs that they would try to get me to see the "error of my ways." Plus it goes along with all the other insensitive comments that people make to infertiles. They just don't get it, unless they have to walk in your shoes.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
China and a Few Other Bits
Tickets are finally booked for us to go to China. I resisted letting myself get too excited until this point, since last time things fell through. Now the tickets are booked and I am thrilled! Hubby will be working a lot while we are there, but there is so much to do within walking distance of the hotel. I had been debating on whether I should bring my expensive but bulky camera, or just go with my point and shoot. I decided that even though it is bulky, my nicer camera will be worth having while I am there. I am hoping to come back with some really awesome pictures!
On another note, we went for the follow up doctor visit last Friday. The doc said that he would write a letter of necessity for the insurance company, so it can get preapproved. So once it all is approved we will do the testing. That may take awhile...you know how insurance companies can be! So I asked if this would affect our transfer in May, and they said that we can go ahead with the transfer. We are still going to add a few different meds this time, even without knowing what the results are. The meds can hurt, they add a little to the cost, but I am pretty sure what the results will be to the tests that we are having run. I have Hashimotos, and endometriosis. Both of those drastically increase my chances of having elevated NK cells. I have been on prednisone, and lovenox, but did not try intralipids. So this time we are going to add it. We also may switch to dexamethasone instead of the prednisone. We are also transferring blasts this time, and it is our first FET. So I won't be recovering from a retrieval. I am really hoping that these few switches make the difference that we need! The other tests that the Doc wants to run really won't make a difference with our transfer in May...it will make more of a difference in how we proceed when we decide to do another fresh cycle. Hubby and I want a big family (if that is even still possible at this point.) So more than likely another fresh cycle is in our future even if this transfer works!
On the sweepstakes front I have had some pretty cool winnings lately. I have won a box of oranges, a cold and flu care package, $100, two cook books, some petunias, and a year supply of cat food. We don't have cats. Luckily my brother and his wife have two. So they are benefiting from my win. My bunnies on the other hand are not. We will just have to keep buying there food. My next win will hopefully be the mega millions jackpot tomorrow night!
On another note, we went for the follow up doctor visit last Friday. The doc said that he would write a letter of necessity for the insurance company, so it can get preapproved. So once it all is approved we will do the testing. That may take awhile...you know how insurance companies can be! So I asked if this would affect our transfer in May, and they said that we can go ahead with the transfer. We are still going to add a few different meds this time, even without knowing what the results are. The meds can hurt, they add a little to the cost, but I am pretty sure what the results will be to the tests that we are having run. I have Hashimotos, and endometriosis. Both of those drastically increase my chances of having elevated NK cells. I have been on prednisone, and lovenox, but did not try intralipids. So this time we are going to add it. We also may switch to dexamethasone instead of the prednisone. We are also transferring blasts this time, and it is our first FET. So I won't be recovering from a retrieval. I am really hoping that these few switches make the difference that we need! The other tests that the Doc wants to run really won't make a difference with our transfer in May...it will make more of a difference in how we proceed when we decide to do another fresh cycle. Hubby and I want a big family (if that is even still possible at this point.) So more than likely another fresh cycle is in our future even if this transfer works!
On the sweepstakes front I have had some pretty cool winnings lately. I have won a box of oranges, a cold and flu care package, $100, two cook books, some petunias, and a year supply of cat food. We don't have cats. Luckily my brother and his wife have two. So they are benefiting from my win. My bunnies on the other hand are not. We will just have to keep buying there food. My next win will hopefully be the mega millions jackpot tomorrow night!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Time Will Fly!
Two months from tomorrow is our target date for our next transfer. It seems like two months is so far away, like it will take forever to get here. We could have done our transfer in April instead, and we would then be getting all our ducks in a row now.
We decided on May for a few reasons. First, we will have pretty much paid off our last cycle by that point, allowing us to afford the next transfer. Plus, we have a lot of other stuff going on. Hubby was asked to go to China for work again. Last time he went was right after my laparoscopic surgery in September, so I couldn't go with him. I love to travel and one place that I have always wanted to go was China. They then asked him to go in January, and I was supposed to go with him, but the trip fell through. Work then asked him to go in February, but he couldn't travel then because we were engulfed in our second IVF. He wanted to put off the IVF at that point so we could travel to China, not because work was pressuring him, but because he really wants me to be able to go. I nixed that idea. I didn't want to put off the IVF. I was already on meds for it by the time the January trip was cancelled, and I didn't like the idea of having to revamp our plans, and possibly having to be on meds (that made me feel like sh**,) for a longer period of time. I was really disappointed when the trip got cancelled, because if the IVF worked in February, it meant that I may never get to China. I was okay with that, after weighing the options. Since it didn't work, and they have asked hubby to go again, I will be going to China. I am so incredibly excited. We leave soon, and I know that the time will fly while we are there. I will probably have to start some of the meds for our next transfer while we are there, and more meds soon after we get back. I always feel like once we start the meds in prep, time really does fly. It always feel good to be doing something. When we are just waiting between cycles, it is hard.
I also have to get a few more days in for work between now and my next transfer. I have to work 4 more days this school year, to stay active in the system. I have some time open next week, so I would like to get at least 2 of the days out of the way. That way when we come back from China, I will only have 2 days left that I have to do.
We are also looking at buying a new car when we come back from China. Ideally we would not be buying a car right now, but since our newest car is 8 years old, and our oldest one is 15 years old...we figured that it was time to buy. Hubby's car broke down again a few weeks ago, finally convincing him, that we did need to get one. He is a bit tired of being stranded on the side of the road, or worrying while he is driving that he isn't going to make it home. We already have picked out the car that we want. It just doesn't make sense to buy before China.
I am so excited about everything that we have going on right now. So much to keep me busy and to look forward to. May will be here before we know it. I am really hopeful that the new meds we are adding in May will do the trick. We still haven't made a decision about the tests that the Dr. said we could/should have done. Insurance said that they would cover it, if it is proven to be medically necessary. We are thinking about getting it preapproved, so that we don't have to worry about them saying yes now...only to turn around later and deny it. We may also only get some of the testing done now, and wait on others. We will make up our minds on Friday when we go for the follow up appt from my hysteroscopy and D&C that I had last week. (Dr likes to do this before doing a transfer, because it is supposed to increase chances of implantation.) So much going on, and so much to keep us busy...May will really be here before we know it!
We decided on May for a few reasons. First, we will have pretty much paid off our last cycle by that point, allowing us to afford the next transfer. Plus, we have a lot of other stuff going on. Hubby was asked to go to China for work again. Last time he went was right after my laparoscopic surgery in September, so I couldn't go with him. I love to travel and one place that I have always wanted to go was China. They then asked him to go in January, and I was supposed to go with him, but the trip fell through. Work then asked him to go in February, but he couldn't travel then because we were engulfed in our second IVF. He wanted to put off the IVF at that point so we could travel to China, not because work was pressuring him, but because he really wants me to be able to go. I nixed that idea. I didn't want to put off the IVF. I was already on meds for it by the time the January trip was cancelled, and I didn't like the idea of having to revamp our plans, and possibly having to be on meds (that made me feel like sh**,) for a longer period of time. I was really disappointed when the trip got cancelled, because if the IVF worked in February, it meant that I may never get to China. I was okay with that, after weighing the options. Since it didn't work, and they have asked hubby to go again, I will be going to China. I am so incredibly excited. We leave soon, and I know that the time will fly while we are there. I will probably have to start some of the meds for our next transfer while we are there, and more meds soon after we get back. I always feel like once we start the meds in prep, time really does fly. It always feel good to be doing something. When we are just waiting between cycles, it is hard.
I also have to get a few more days in for work between now and my next transfer. I have to work 4 more days this school year, to stay active in the system. I have some time open next week, so I would like to get at least 2 of the days out of the way. That way when we come back from China, I will only have 2 days left that I have to do.
We are also looking at buying a new car when we come back from China. Ideally we would not be buying a car right now, but since our newest car is 8 years old, and our oldest one is 15 years old...we figured that it was time to buy. Hubby's car broke down again a few weeks ago, finally convincing him, that we did need to get one. He is a bit tired of being stranded on the side of the road, or worrying while he is driving that he isn't going to make it home. We already have picked out the car that we want. It just doesn't make sense to buy before China.
I am so excited about everything that we have going on right now. So much to keep me busy and to look forward to. May will be here before we know it. I am really hopeful that the new meds we are adding in May will do the trick. We still haven't made a decision about the tests that the Dr. said we could/should have done. Insurance said that they would cover it, if it is proven to be medically necessary. We are thinking about getting it preapproved, so that we don't have to worry about them saying yes now...only to turn around later and deny it. We may also only get some of the testing done now, and wait on others. We will make up our minds on Friday when we go for the follow up appt from my hysteroscopy and D&C that I had last week. (Dr likes to do this before doing a transfer, because it is supposed to increase chances of implantation.) So much going on, and so much to keep us busy...May will really be here before we know it!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Next Plan of Action
We had our follow up appointment with our doctor today, about our last failed IVF. I had been writing my list of questions since last week...so having a week to think about questions, and research online, makes for a long list of questions. I ended up with 5 hand written pages, that I went through and organized into categories last night, so there was some order to them when I asked them...instead of jumping around.
So we sat down with the doctor, and he took the time to answer every one of the questions that I had. He gave his input on the information that I found online, and let us know if he thought these things were worth trying, or just plain crazy. Most of them he figured were worth a try, and couldn't hurt. So it looks like we have a plan for the next transfer.
I will call on day one of my next cycle, and start the wonderful BC pill soon after. Then at some point after that I will start lupron. I guess they will let me know when it gets closer. We discussed trying a higher dose of prednisone and/or switching to dexamethasone. I am not sure which we will do yet. If we up the dose of prednisone, we will probably do a much higher dose (60mg) for a few days after transfer, and then maybe lower it to 20mg at least until the beta. We also talked about adding in Claratin, and pepcid, which he agreed couldn't hurt anything, so it is worth a try. And thankfully, he would like to try intralipids. So we will be adding that this time. I will most likely stay on the crinone, baby aspirin, folgard, lovenox and prenatal. He gave me some endometrin to see if I have an allergic reaction to it. I can try it and see, or we can just plan on Crinone for next time. It is all still so confusing, but at least we have a plan in place of where we are going next.
We also talked about other tests that we can run, to see if there are other problems going on. His office is supposed to call me with how much the tests will cost, and then we can decide if we want to pay for the tests. I am leaning toward skipping the NK cell testing, because we are going to treat with intralipids anyway, so the results won't make a difference in treatment. I am leaning towards paying for the cost of the HLA and DQ Alpha testing, because if it comes back 100% positive, we may as well not waste anymore embryos by putting them in me. If it is a 50% match, then we know that it may benefit us to transfer only one at a time. And at least if it isn't a match...then we can feel at ease that, that isn't the problem. I am really hoping that they come back with insurance will cover some of the cost, but I do think that even if they don't cover it, we will probably get the testing done.
If it comes back with 100% match, it is pretty much game over for us. the only way that we would be able to have a baby is through a gestational surrogate. I am all for it, if that is what we have to do, but Hubby is hesitant. Plus the cost of that would be a bit more prohibiting for us. Time will tell though. No sense in worrying over this at this point. We will cross that bridge when we get there.
If you ask me for my gut feeling, I really think that the intralipids will be our answer. We will try the other meds (claratin, pepcid, etc.) and I do think that the combination of these additions of medication will make the difference for us. We have some good looking blasts to transfer, and with having 6 frozen, we have a really good chance of having 2 to transfer. Part of me really wants to skip the testing before this transfer...do one more transfer before we test the DQ Alpha and HLA. I think it is because I really don't want to know the result if it is bad news. I don't want to give up the dream of getting pregnant and having our baby. So maybe we will wait to test. We can see if all this extra stuff helps...and if it doesn't work...then we can do the tests. I guess I will wait to see what insurance says.
So we sat down with the doctor, and he took the time to answer every one of the questions that I had. He gave his input on the information that I found online, and let us know if he thought these things were worth trying, or just plain crazy. Most of them he figured were worth a try, and couldn't hurt. So it looks like we have a plan for the next transfer.
I will call on day one of my next cycle, and start the wonderful BC pill soon after. Then at some point after that I will start lupron. I guess they will let me know when it gets closer. We discussed trying a higher dose of prednisone and/or switching to dexamethasone. I am not sure which we will do yet. If we up the dose of prednisone, we will probably do a much higher dose (60mg) for a few days after transfer, and then maybe lower it to 20mg at least until the beta. We also talked about adding in Claratin, and pepcid, which he agreed couldn't hurt anything, so it is worth a try. And thankfully, he would like to try intralipids. So we will be adding that this time. I will most likely stay on the crinone, baby aspirin, folgard, lovenox and prenatal. He gave me some endometrin to see if I have an allergic reaction to it. I can try it and see, or we can just plan on Crinone for next time. It is all still so confusing, but at least we have a plan in place of where we are going next.
We also talked about other tests that we can run, to see if there are other problems going on. His office is supposed to call me with how much the tests will cost, and then we can decide if we want to pay for the tests. I am leaning toward skipping the NK cell testing, because we are going to treat with intralipids anyway, so the results won't make a difference in treatment. I am leaning towards paying for the cost of the HLA and DQ Alpha testing, because if it comes back 100% positive, we may as well not waste anymore embryos by putting them in me. If it is a 50% match, then we know that it may benefit us to transfer only one at a time. And at least if it isn't a match...then we can feel at ease that, that isn't the problem. I am really hoping that they come back with insurance will cover some of the cost, but I do think that even if they don't cover it, we will probably get the testing done.
If it comes back with 100% match, it is pretty much game over for us. the only way that we would be able to have a baby is through a gestational surrogate. I am all for it, if that is what we have to do, but Hubby is hesitant. Plus the cost of that would be a bit more prohibiting for us. Time will tell though. No sense in worrying over this at this point. We will cross that bridge when we get there.
If you ask me for my gut feeling, I really think that the intralipids will be our answer. We will try the other meds (claratin, pepcid, etc.) and I do think that the combination of these additions of medication will make the difference for us. We have some good looking blasts to transfer, and with having 6 frozen, we have a really good chance of having 2 to transfer. Part of me really wants to skip the testing before this transfer...do one more transfer before we test the DQ Alpha and HLA. I think it is because I really don't want to know the result if it is bad news. I don't want to give up the dream of getting pregnant and having our baby. So maybe we will wait to test. We can see if all this extra stuff helps...and if it doesn't work...then we can do the tests. I guess I will wait to see what insurance says.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
On Our Way...Again!
The world of fertility treatments is crazy and overwhelming at times. It will consume your life...if you let it. There are times that I let it take over our lives, and then there are times that we have to step back and take a break. After our last round failed, I thought that we would take a six month break. Then I got to thinking about waiting six months before we would try again, and I just couldn't do it. So, we talked about it, and decided that we could do a transfer with two of our embryos in May. That would give us some regroup time, and travel time, and yet we wouldn't have to wait six months. So the planning and scheduling has to begin. I know that we are two months out still, but so much prep goes into IVF. Our doctor mentioned that he would want to do another hysteroscopy and D&C before we do another transfer. Well...that has to be done at least 30 days before and preferably no more than 90 days before. So if we are looking at May, that leaves us March or April to do this. It is already March, so if we want to do it this month, I would have to get a move on things. We could wait until April, but I am hoping to get to travel in April with Hubby. He has a business trip coming up that I would love to go on...meaning that we would be gone during the time in my cycle that this would have to be...So March it is. The problem is that our follow up, to go over what we all think went wrong with the last cycle, and come up with a plan of what to do next, isn't until Friday. If we wait till Friday to discuss all this with the Doc, it may be too late to schedule it for next week. So I emailed him today to mention that we would like to aim for May, and explain the situation about when to schedule the D&C. He said that he would get on it, and get it scheduled for next week. :)
So we are on our way again....Starting our first step towards our next transfer. I will know more and have a solid plan after Friday's appointment. There is so much to discuss with the Doc. Hopefully he will have some ideas and answers. He also mentioned running more tests, so I am hoping that they can do them that day...get them out of the way and get some answers before we go much further.
On another note, I got my results from the thyroid doctor this morning. My TSH was .84. It couldn't be more perfect than that! :) I was so excited to hear that we finally got it to a good level. We will of course check it again before we do a transfer, but for now...I am good!
So we are on our way again....Starting our first step towards our next transfer. I will know more and have a solid plan after Friday's appointment. There is so much to discuss with the Doc. Hopefully he will have some ideas and answers. He also mentioned running more tests, so I am hoping that they can do them that day...get them out of the way and get some answers before we go much further.
On another note, I got my results from the thyroid doctor this morning. My TSH was .84. It couldn't be more perfect than that! :) I was so excited to hear that we finally got it to a good level. We will of course check it again before we do a transfer, but for now...I am good!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Well...I was Pregnant!
So after I started spotting again...the night before beta...again, I just figured that it was all over. I was right, but this time the results weren't a flat out negative. I had a chemical pregnancy. I hate the term "Chemical Pregnancy." It makes it seem like there wasn't one...that my body was producing hormones that it wasn't supposed to. In actuality, a chemical pregnancy is just another term for a VERY early miscarriage. It is a miscarriage that happens before a heartbeat can be detected. In my case...we didn't even get close to a heartbeat. Last time we had a flat out negative...like neither embryo even tried to implant. This time at least one started to. Yes I am sad, mad and every other emotion you can think of, but at the same time, this gives me a little bit of hope. With it completely negative, we have no idea what happened...Did my body kill them off as soon as we put them in? Were they just not viable? We still don't know if they were viable or not, but we at least know that my body didn't kill them off right away. It gives us a few clues as to where to go from here. Tells us some more tests that can be run. And luckily we have a wonderful proactive doctor, who is willing to help us figure this all out. He mentioned some more tests that he wants to run, and some ideas of what to try next. I made our follow up appointment for next Friday, and I have been writing my book of questions and things to talk to him about. We have our ideas of where we want to go from here, and what we want to try, now we just have to make sure the Good Doc is on board. We would like to try for a transfer in May. I would like to use two of our snowflakes from November. Since we have 4, I would love for all of them to make it to thaw, but I am being realistic, and thinking that we will at least get two to transfer if we thaw them. So...as long as the Doc agrees, that is our plan. I also plan on asking about some other meds that we can try this time. So we will see what the Doc thinks, and hopefully that plan will be a go!
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