No Such Thing as..."Just Adopt"

If I had a dollar for every time someone told an infertile person, they should "Just Adopt," I could afford to not only do all the fertility treatments I could want, but I could also....Just adopt!

The approximate cost of a round of IVF at the fertility clinic we go to is around $13,000 (including medication.)
The approximate cost of an international adoption including travel, can range from $20,000 to about $60,000.
The cost of domestic newborn adoption starts around $5,000 to about $40,000.
You do the math...how many IVFs can be done for the cost of one adoption?

There is one type of adoption that you can do for very little cost...foster to adopt, or through the state adoption.  In our state, they aren't even accepting people for the waiting list for children under 10 in the foster to adopt program. 

I used to think that adoption was the solution to our infertility.  Fill out some paperwork, meet with some social workers, pay some money, wait a little while (less time than we have been waiting with infertility,) and then we would get a baby.  The tides of adoption have changed in the last 5-10 years though.  Yes, there are still many orphans in the world.  But what many people don't realize is that many orphans are not eligible for adoption.  Countries have closed their international adoption programs, or have quotas while trying to promote domestic adoption.  Wait times have skyrocketed for international adoption.  Families wanting to adopt from China who sign up now, can expect to wait 10 years.  The world of international adoption was never easy, but if you stuck with it, you could be pretty sure you would have a child by the end of the process.

As for domestic adoption, there really are no guarantees.  In many situations, the birth mother chooses who adopts her child.  Potential adoptive parents make a profile, and hope that a mother picks them quickly.  Sometimes that happens, and sometimes.....the wait goes on forever.  Another issue is that the birth mother can change her mind up until parental rights have been terminated.  The law varies by state when this actually occurs.  So there are many times where a birth mother chooses to parent, leaving the potential adoptive parents heartbroken! 

I know I have over simplified the adoption process here.  I am not trying to down play the process, but I wanted to bring up how unpredictable it has become, and how expensive it really can be, making it a sometimes tough decision to start the process.

"Just Adopt," is not an easy thing to do!  When looking at the cost and the fact that there are no guarantees, it is more enticing for some to continue fertility treatments. 

Yes, there are also no guarantees with fertility treatments, but statistics show that about 85% of couples who do IVF get pregnant within three tries.  I now understand the draw of continuing to try for a child through fertility treatments.  I also can understand how much of a strain infertility can be and why some couples decide to give up on the dream of a child or make other difficult decisions like moving on to donors, or adoption. 

So the next time you have the urge to tell someone to "Just Adopt," remember, you are not in their shoes, and you are not having to make the decisions that they are.  What is the right decision for one family, is not the right one for another. 

Gold's Gym

Gold's Gym is an unethical company.  I highly discourage anyone from signing up to be a customer with them.  They lose paperwork, and blame customers for their mistakes.  Please anyone considering joining, do your research before signing up with them.  Don't end up in the same boat I am, they are trying to ruin my credit, even though I closed my membership six months ago.  Please be careful when dealing with them!

A Week in the Life of....

Life is crazy sometimes.  And this week....is one of those times!  I worked yesterday.  Yeah, that doesn't happen so often these days, but yesterday I did.  During my break, I made the phone calls on my list.  This list included various doctors and companies that I needed to discuss things with, and one lawyer.  Doctor phone calls went great, got two appointments set up, pleasant experience.  Then call Lawyer office to get update on trial that I am supposed to be a witness in (of which I know nothing about.)  I was told I would get a phone call tomorrow with more info.  Reminded them about medical procedure on Wednesday.  Next...call Company 1, and make sure they are showing up to do the work on the house, since they caused more damage than good last time.  They verified that their crew would indeed be there in the morning.  Next Company 2...Screaming match because they never closed the account that I asked them to close, and they are now trying to bill me over $200, since it wasn't closed.  Transferred to yet another person, left yet another message...still waiting for them to call back.  Break over...back to work. 
Today, wake up early wait for crew to do work....they show up, but a half hour late...I was just about to call Company 1 again.  Crew works on house till 3, then leave stating crew would be back to continue tomorrow.  I will believe it when I see it, but tomorrow I am too busy to mess with it. Then I realize I didn't hear from Lawyer's office.  Call Lawyer, left message.  Phone call back a few minutes later letting me know I needed to cancel my job for Thursday because I was needed to testify.  Okay fine...half hour later, another phone call, now I am needed tomorrow instead, but not till 11...um....NO.  I have called on numerous occasions since being notified of this, letting them know about a medical procedure that I am having on Wednesday...can't be there at 11.  Was told that they would call me in the morning to let me know what to do.  So my choice...go be a witness (for a trial I know nothing about,) and cancel a medical procedure that I need, or don't show....be held in contempt, and have the procedure that I need.  Totally stressed and crying at that point.  Instant headache!  Who knows what tomorrow will bring.  But apparently, I may now have a free day on Thursday.  Not totally sure yet, I guess I will know for sure tomorrow....if I will need to be a witness then too.  I am so looking forward to Friday this week...not only because it is the end of this crazy week, but also because I have a very important Doctor appointment, where we will get to decide on our next plan of action, and get things going...hopefully for February!

Black Friday

This Black Friday was a bit disappointing!  I am used to rock bottom deals, and trying to figure out where to go first.  This year while looking at the ads, I realized that many of the deals were better before Thanksgiving, and there weren't too many that were worth going out for.  Sure if you needed a new TV, Computer, or other electronics, you could find a decent deal on those.  Usually though the Black Friday deals were so amazing that I was tempted, even if I didn't need the item.  The other thing that was different this year was the stores opening earlier.  I liked getting up super early and spending the day shopping, and this threw a wrench in that.  Despite the deals not being as good as usual, my mom and I still decided to go out shopping....just for the fun of it.  We did start at Walmart at midnight.  I got my usual yearly supply of memory cards for my camera.  We then went to Kohl's, but the line wrapped around the store 4 times.  Since there was nothing that we were really going for, we decided to go back there later.  So we went back to my mom's and took a few hours nap. Then we went back out, starting at Sears for my husband's Christmas gift.  I won't mention what it is here though, in case he reads this.  We went back to Kohls, and to the mall, and I had to go to Coldwater Creek to get my jeans.  Again, pretty disappointed in the increased prices of all of the deals, but the jeans were still cheaper than on a normal sale day.  Mom and I ended our day at Walgreens, with coupons, for a good deal on Laundry Detergent.  So overall, we had a good shopping day, but honestly, no better deals than what I typically get.  If Black Friday deals are this bad next year, I think that I will skip it, and do my shopping another day!

Sweeps I have won so far

As some of you know, I started entering sweepstakes online, after my surgery in September.  All I could do for about a week and a half was sit on the couch, and I got bored.  During that time, I saw the show on TV about extreme sweepers.  I figured I would give it a try.  Four days later, I got an email saying that I won a laptop.  It was so easy to win...so I kept going.  The next week, I won a tote bag.  Then the next week was a beer stein, and a jar of bouillon.  Then I had a week where I didn't win anything.  :(  I didn't get discouraged...I kept entering.  Then I won a fleece blanket.  By this time, I was expecting my laptop to show up, any day!   I kept checking the front porch.  And there it was, a nice size box.  I brought it in, all excited to see my new laptop...and what a disappointment to see an IHome instead!  Of course that is a bit of sarcasm!  I looked all over in the box to try to figure out where it came from...and there it was on the packing slip...Lucky magazine, sweepstakes winner!  Later that same day, I checked the porch again...and there was the laptop.  :)  Since then.  I have won a few more little things, about once a week:  A mascara, a wendy's t-shirt, a free larabar, a stouffers meal for two, and a fandango gift card.  Most things that I win are not as big as the laptop or IHome...but they are still nice prizes that I will use.  And the more I win...the more it motivates me to enter.  Keep in mind, I have only been entering sweeps consistently for about 2 months, and I have won 11 prizes.  The key is consistently entering, and entering only sweepstakes from reliable sponsors.

A Little Bit of Everything!

This blog was created so that I could share the ins and outs of all of my crazy hobbies, along with having a place to talk about my journey through life.  I have the blog compartmentalized into my separate hobbies, interests, and journeys.  For now, it will be open to the public.  I may change this later.  Welcome to my story!