That is my new motto. That is what I tell myself, when things don't go the way they should. And it is what is keeping me calm right now. We sent off my birth certificate for all of the crazy stuff that has to happen to it for our dossier...and it came back today with nothing done...with a letter saying we need to send it back to them with the required fee. The only problem with this, is when I called to ask about where to send it, and if there was a fee, I was told "No." I also searched the website, and it also stated that there was no fee for this step of the process. The next step, yes, but this one no. So, this not only has cost us two weeks, but my birth certificate will "expire" by the time that we send it out and have everything done to it...so why bother. So I instead thought ahead two weeks ago...in case something like this happened...and ordered a new copy of my birth certificate, and it should be here any day now, and then we can start the crazy process over, and hopefully have it back in time to get everything authenticated by the end of December or beginning of January.
On a positive note, I am excited to say that I think we have figured out where we are going with our infertility. There is a great new doctor that will be starting at a local fertility clinic. I am hoping to meet with him, and get his opinion on what he would do if we tried IVF again. I also will ask him if he would be willing to do a freeze all IVF for us, so that we have embryos to transfer after we are home with our first child. We also got the notice in the mail that our USCIS paperwork has been received, and we should be getting notice soon about when our fingerprinting appointment is, so although still moving at a snail pace, we are moving forward!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I Wish Things Were the Way They Used to Be
Yesterday I stopped at a store on my way to a class that I was taking. As I pulled into the spot, a woman was coming out of the store, and rushing toward her car, which happened to be parked next to the space that I pulled into. I was about to get out of my car, as she motioned to me to roll down my window. I thought that she was going to ask me directions, but instead she asked if I knew of any other churches around the area besides the two she mentioned. I listed off a few churches that I knew about. She said that she already had gone there. She then proceeded to tell me a bit of her story. She has two children who she is fighting to get back from the foster care system. She got teary eyed as she talked about them, and I could tell that she really loves them. She mentioned that her hearing to get her kids back was this week, and she lost her job two weeks ago, and her power had been shut off. She paid the bill to have the power turned back on, but there was a reactivation fee of $50 that she doesn't have...and without it, she can't get her kids back. She said that she had been going to every church that she could think of, to ask for help. She listed them all off. My heart broke for her, but I was leery at the same time. This woman seemed to have her act together. She seemed educated, and was not intoxicated or high. She didn't have the look of a meth head, and generally seemed like a nice person. She didn't ask me for money, like some of the other beggars that we have in the area. There are a few that frequent the parking lots near where we live.
It just got me thinking about how the way that things used to be. You used to know your neighbors and be able to count on them when a family hit a rough patch. Communities used to pull together to help each other and really cared. Nowadays, people don't know their neighbors, and heck...many don't even know their family. I couldn't tell you the names of my neighbors, and I don't think that I would recognize most of them if I saw them out some where. If something major happened to one of my neighbors, I don't know if I would even know about it, and if I did, I don't know if I would feel comfortable enough to go offer my help. Even my church community is so large that people can come and go, and no one would ever even notice. In fact when my father passed away, no one from my church "family" was there to help. It really showed how the church is failing. The same rang true for this woman I ran into. She tried her church, and was told to fill out a form, and was sent away. I understand that there has to be a paper trail, and they need to keep track of where the money is going. However, at the same time, where are people's hearts? Money is tight for so many, but if this was a different time, I would have invited this woman to my house, and served her a warm cup of tea. I would have called my friends and family and asked them to pitch in, and raised the $50 that she needed. I would have also sent her home with some extra things that I had around, because that would be the right thing to do, and I would hope that the same would be done for me, when times were rough. Instead, I was leery. I wondered if there really were any children. I wondered if the money she would get would really go to pay her electric bill. I had to question if she was telling me the truth, or if the money would be used for drugs and alcohol. These are things I will never know the answer to, but I couldn't do nothing. I had to help in some way. So I pulled $20 out of my wallet, and told her that was all I could spare, and that I hoped that she would be able to get the other $30. The look of gratitude on this woman's face was priceless.
As we said our goodbyes, and she drove off, I said a prayer. I prayed that her getting her children back is the right thing for them. I prayed that she was able to get the additional $30 that she needed, and that the money was really going towards what she said she needed. I prayed that if she was pulling my leg, that she would find God, and he would help her recover from her struggles. I have been saying prayers for this woman since.
I wish that things were the way they used to be though. I wish I knew my neighbors. I wish that my church was like the one I went to as a child...small and everyone cared about each other, everyone mattered! I wish that I could help others and not have to question if people were being honest. I really think that I would give more, if I could trust that my money was going where it was supposed to...right to the ones that need it. There are so many scams, and so many people trying to take advantage of others. I just wish that being nice and giving to others was still safe. In this day and age, being nice to someone, can put you in danger. It just sucks that doing the right thing is just not always safe anymore...and I wish it was!
It just got me thinking about how the way that things used to be. You used to know your neighbors and be able to count on them when a family hit a rough patch. Communities used to pull together to help each other and really cared. Nowadays, people don't know their neighbors, and heck...many don't even know their family. I couldn't tell you the names of my neighbors, and I don't think that I would recognize most of them if I saw them out some where. If something major happened to one of my neighbors, I don't know if I would even know about it, and if I did, I don't know if I would feel comfortable enough to go offer my help. Even my church community is so large that people can come and go, and no one would ever even notice. In fact when my father passed away, no one from my church "family" was there to help. It really showed how the church is failing. The same rang true for this woman I ran into. She tried her church, and was told to fill out a form, and was sent away. I understand that there has to be a paper trail, and they need to keep track of where the money is going. However, at the same time, where are people's hearts? Money is tight for so many, but if this was a different time, I would have invited this woman to my house, and served her a warm cup of tea. I would have called my friends and family and asked them to pitch in, and raised the $50 that she needed. I would have also sent her home with some extra things that I had around, because that would be the right thing to do, and I would hope that the same would be done for me, when times were rough. Instead, I was leery. I wondered if there really were any children. I wondered if the money she would get would really go to pay her electric bill. I had to question if she was telling me the truth, or if the money would be used for drugs and alcohol. These are things I will never know the answer to, but I couldn't do nothing. I had to help in some way. So I pulled $20 out of my wallet, and told her that was all I could spare, and that I hoped that she would be able to get the other $30. The look of gratitude on this woman's face was priceless.
As we said our goodbyes, and she drove off, I said a prayer. I prayed that her getting her children back is the right thing for them. I prayed that she was able to get the additional $30 that she needed, and that the money was really going towards what she said she needed. I prayed that if she was pulling my leg, that she would find God, and he would help her recover from her struggles. I have been saying prayers for this woman since.
I wish that things were the way they used to be though. I wish I knew my neighbors. I wish that my church was like the one I went to as a child...small and everyone cared about each other, everyone mattered! I wish that I could help others and not have to question if people were being honest. I really think that I would give more, if I could trust that my money was going where it was supposed to...right to the ones that need it. There are so many scams, and so many people trying to take advantage of others. I just wish that being nice and giving to others was still safe. In this day and age, being nice to someone, can put you in danger. It just sucks that doing the right thing is just not always safe anymore...and I wish it was!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Remembering
Nine years ago today, my father passed away. It is hard to believe that it has been nine years. It seems so long ago, but it seems like yesterday. I miss my dad everyday, and I don't think that will ever go away. Sure you find a new normal, and you get used to him not being around...but life would really be different if he was still here with us...and I miss him.
Also, a year ago today, we had our first egg retrieval. The first of our embryos was created, and we were so excited and hopeful...and here we are a year later, still with no baby. At least, since we have started the adoption process, we are pretty sure that by this day, next year we will have a little one in our arms.
Also, a year ago today, we had our first egg retrieval. The first of our embryos was created, and we were so excited and hopeful...and here we are a year later, still with no baby. At least, since we have started the adoption process, we are pretty sure that by this day, next year we will have a little one in our arms.
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